Great time with them today.
Pretty glad that my 'great depression' is more or less over.
Trying to focus on promos.
Gp today. And Im acting like my promos are over.
Didnt study a single shit today.
Wasted.
Maths Maths.
Saw those ranks keychain again.
So tempting.

Idk what I want or what to expect.
So just let me pretend and assume that things are still the same.

Life is really unfair.
If I become the bloody MOE in the future
I will change this whole damn system.
I think I havent gotten over the whole shit yet.
But I rly hate it here.
Just let me promote, and get out of this hellhole.

Just tired.
Sometimes I really feel that I'm gg crazy.
Literally. With the image of Joker in my mind and everything.
And wanting to do really crazy stuffs.
If people know what is running around in my mind and head,
they would be freaked out haha.
I havent had the panicky feeling for quite some time now.
I mean like as much as I want to get promoted,
Im kinda mentally prepared to accept it if I get retained.
So no more panick attacks before I sleep or random times of the day.
Feeling that death is imminent and stuffs.
It's horrible.
Still having headaches though.
Ran out of pills for it.